Title: What he wanted the most
Characters: Kotatsu (Ueda Tatsuya x Tanaka Koki)
Genre: Romance, angst
Note: This is the first of 5 fanfics part of a challenge with lady_nymus with 5 words and images selected by shiharipanda. Translated to english for hananochikai request ^^
Published at 07.22.2012
The word is invisible.
For anyone who was inside the rustic bar, the cold weather that has invaded Tokyo tonight was just something that fogged the windows that covered the features lights of the town.
Tatsuya Ueda was one of these people, and beside the comfortable environment, he also let the drink warm himself. Hot chocolate with brandy, to be exact.
"It suits you."
A certain person told him that.
He took out a small keychain from the pocket and stared as he let the chocolate go down his throat.
It was shaped like a mouse plush, chosen just for reminding the mascot of his solo concert, Mouse Peace. However, it wasn’t the reason that the boy gave it so precious value.
"Good luck with the concert, you deserve!"
He remembered the smile that he received with the keychain, and that always made his heart race. Like now.
"If only I weren’t so invisible like that... “It was the thought that often went through his head. He took another big gulp.
He always felt as if that certain person wouldn’t notice him, despite being friends since childhood.
Tatsuya had a huge affection for the members of KAT-TUN, who held a special place in his heart. But he never quite understand what happened to himself whenever he got close to this person, since they met for the first time. It is something good, great. He had no words.
He wanted to stop being invisible.
Wanted to be the first person that person came when he had amazing news to tell.
The first person he thought of asking for help when needed.
The first one to be searched when he just wanted someone to stand next to and do simply nothing.
Because surely Tatsuya would be there.
Almost wasn’t more of the drink remained in his cup.
He tightened the hold in the mouse that was in his hand as he thought of all the time that has passed since the first time he felt these things.
"A long time..."
In all these years, he has been stuck in this situation. He wanted, really wanted to have the courage to tell everything to this person. But it would be risking too much. He would risk his precious friendship with him, and that is a too high value.
"But wouldn’t be worth risking it to gain something even more precious?" He thought and sighed again after that.
Probably he would win only a rejection in exchange of all that, losing that friendship.
Tatsuya tells himself that he is willing to wait more years to pass, even forever. However, he knows he cannot bear it.
He shouldn’t be such a coward.
By this time, all the chocolate and alcohol from his cup had disappeared.
Tatsuya was tired before he decided to go to the bar and probably the alcohol made him even more. He just wanted to go home to sleep, even more because he had a full day of rehearsals when he woke up. At least he will not be all night lamenting as many others nights.
He put the keychain in his pocket and stood up. While wearing his coat he glanced through the window of the entrance door.
"Ah, of course!"
He spoke in a tone of irony to himself when he saw that was raining. He neither had thought to bring an umbrella when he came out. Intense cold isn’t always synonymous of rain.
Ueda lost the count of how many times he had sighed only that day. But he was so discouraged and with the wish to come home that he decided to leave in the rain anyway.
“I don’t even have hood in this jacket."
He was walking calmly, despite the rain soaking him. The cold of Tokyo was strong and the rain was freezing it. But he wasn’t caring very much.
After a few minutes, suddenly the rain had stopped soaking him. He frowned at the sensation and in the same second, he heard a voice that he loved.
"Tatsuya! Are you crazy? Want to get sick?"
His heartbeat accelerated.
When he looked up his eyes widened to see just the person who owns Tatsuya’s thoughts, in front of him. And he noticed the concern on his face as the person held an umbrella for both of them.
"I can’t leave you alone, right?" The other laughed. That laugh that always managed to lift Ueda’s mood.
Was all he managed to say, because of the surprise and the alcohol that he had drunk.
Much of it may have been the fault of the alcohol, but as he stared at the beautiful face of the other, he just thought he wanted to stop being invisible to him. It was the only thing he wanted.
"Ueda you are..."
Koki was interrupted by the sudden hug Tatsuya give him.
He felt his face blush as he corresponded the hug.
"You made me knock down the umbrella." He said laughing, when these were the only words he found to hide his nervousness.
The smaller one tightened the embrace, using all the force that his current state allowed him. Koki felt Ueda’s hair messing up on his chest.
A smile appeared on Tanaka’s face, one which always appears when he with Ueda.
He knew that most of the time the older went to this bar was to comfort, and drink was something that helped. The street was almost deserted, then he waited until Ueda let go. Although even with the rain falling on them, he didn’t care to stay a long time there.
After a while he felt that the embrace had loosened, but Ueda had not released yet.
When he lifted the other, he saw that he had fallen asleep. And after the surprise, he started to laugh.
"Only you really, it's freezing here."
To Ueda, this was the nicest place, no matter the circumstances.
Tanaka held the limp body of the other, carrying him on his back. He held tight on his thighs and bent to pick up the umbrella.
"Difficult task huh. Didn’t know you had gained weight."
He felt Ueda’s wet hair on his shoulder and neck and smiled.